one step closer!!

So the insurance is squared away!!! THAT is a huge relief. It was one of the big things that we {your parents and I} had to get taken care of before we could go any further. To tell you the truth, me not having my own personal health insurance could have been a problem, but I knew that with the right person/people it wouldn't "make us or break us". Your mother even confessed to me the other day that, in talking to other potential surrogates, whether or not someone had their own coverage could very easily be a deciding factor in whether or not to go further with their communication. I'm glad that it didn't stop her with me. 

Other than that, I don't really have any big news. This can be kind of a slow process at first because there is so much that goes into the beginning stages. It almost seems like "becoming pregnant" is the easy part. :) There are so many hoops you have to jump through- psychological evaluations, physical exams, insurance, shots... so many things that have to happen BEFORE getting pregnant. But, they're all in place for very good reason & each one of those things we get to cross of our list gets us one step closer to YOU. And you, sweet child, are worth every bit of it.

love,

Kayla

My hope for you #3: That you never become so "set in your ways" that you refuse to think outside of the box. There are always solutions. Sometimes you just have to look a little harder or with a little more creativity in your thinking. But,there ARE solutions. 

just me, again. :)

Sweet, sweet angel... or angels. Wow. I guess there really could be more than one of you, huh? For now, I suppose I will just speak to you as though you are one, but if we find out there is a second or even third little one waiting to be born, well that's just MORE love to share.

I finally spoke to your mommy AND daddy on the phone yesterday. I can say, with complete confidence now, that they are your parents. They seem just so wonderful that I could bust with excitement. Every time I think about them I get this giant smile stretching across my face. Your father was quiet for the majority of the two hour phone call, but I believe that was because your mother and I just chattered away about any and everything we could think of. We are very similar, she and I. I think that's part of what makes us such a wonderful fit.

There are still so many steps to go, that when I think about them individually, it all seems a little overwhelming- just knowing that there is so much that has to be taken care of before we can begin the cycle, etc. But, you're worth it. I know that. They know that. And, someday, we will all look back on these early days as though they just seemed to fly by. It is my hope that very soon we'll be saying "well, that didn't take long at all!" While looking at a black and white ultrasound photo of you in your wonderful state of unborn perfection...

For now, we wait. We research. We explore all of our options on things such as insurance, etc... And soon, this part will only be remembered because of this little blog post. :)  These thoughts will be overtaken by thoughts of "pink or blue?" and "pack n play or crib?" "doctor or midwife?"... And I can't wait.

Today, the weather is yucky and rainy and chilly out, so I'm going to go snuggle up in the bed with my own husband and baby.

I'll see you very soon, little one!!!

My hope for you #2: I hope that you know the comfort of snuggling up on the couch or in bed & staying in on chilly, rainy days.

Well, hello there. :)

Sweet, sweet baby.... you haven't even been created yet, and I'm writing to you already. "Was this woman crazy?" you'll undoubtedly ask someday. And, the answer is No. Well, maybe. :) Why am I writing to a child who not only hasn't been born yet, but hasn't even been made? Because someday you will. Someday, hopefully not too far in the future, I will be with your mommy and daddy and we will all be nervous and excited as we share in the joy that your little heart is beating. I will be pregnant!! Your mommy will cry. Your daddy will hold her and cry, as well, undoubtedly... It will be one of the greatest, most memorable days of all of our lives.

I think I met your mommy yesterday. I didn't actually meet her... not in person, anyway. But, there was just something about her when she emailed me that just felt right. How do people "click" like that online?? I didn't understand it before then either, but I can feel it in my bones that this is the woman that I am supposed to carry a baby for. And, if so, you are one lucky baby. She seems to be such a kind, passionate, caring woman. You will be very loved. No doubt, if she isn't "the one", you will still be extremely loved. But, there is something about this woman that just makes me feel like this is right. I hope I'm right.

I'm starting this blog because I want your parents to be a part of this journey... a part of your own "baby story" from the start. Most children have "baby books" that their parents kept up throughout the first year of their life. Your story will begin here. Now. At the very beginning. Before any shots are taken to prepare my body for the journey it is in for. Before any pink lines are shown on an over the counter pregnancy test. Before we see your tiny heartbeat on a black and white screen, or I feel your flutters and kicks... Your story begins now. February 21, 2012. And you have to know that, even today, before all of this has really begun, you are already so loved. Your parents already love you so much. *I* already love you. I hope to be a part of your life as you grow. I hope that you see me as a part of your family, like an aunt... someone that you know will always have your back and will always have your best interest at heart. And I do. Which is why, after talking to so many families, I still haven't begun this journey- because you don't belong to just any family. I'm not meant to carry just any baby. It's you. I believe that all of this has already been planned out some how, some way... and that it's my job to keep looking until I find your parents. And I think I have. I hope I have.

So, for now, sweet baby- I'm gonna go. But, I'll write more very soon!!! As you'll see, I'm a talker... a writer... and I'm probably going to overwhelm you with my words from time to time. But, it's just because I care. And, you'll thank me one day. :)

I took this picture of myself just a few days ago.

Now you can see just what I looked like at the time of writing this! :)

My Hope For You #1:  That you never take for granted how much love was put into bringing you into this world. So much love.